


You Own Me (Even If You Don't Want Me)

by MultiVerSonalityDisorder



Category: Gokusen - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Comedy, Cunnilingus, Drama, Dramedy, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family, Family Angst, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fighting Kink, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Humor, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Law School, Lawyer, Loss of Virginity, Older Man/Younger Woman, Older Woman/Younger Man, Oral Sex, Post-Series, Relationship Advice, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Slice of Life, Team as Family, Virginity, Yakuza, first time oral, mature - Freeform, university student, virgin, yakuza kink, yakuza-lawyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 07:25:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6109435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MultiVerSonalityDisorder/pseuds/MultiVerSonalityDisorder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after Shin's confession. Shin wants more, but doesn't want to rush Kumiko. Kumiko isn't sure how to get past her anxiety concerning her relationship with Shin. Shinohara drops in with unexpected, unsolicited, advice; along with the rest of the world. Trying to become an adult is hard, Shin-kun!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yankumi, Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I own absolutely nothing! Any character, group, or any other reference to the original work of Gokusen is not my property. I simply wanted to try to work out an additional plot line for Shin and Kumiko's relationship, because I'm uber weak to stuff like this.

It had been nearly a year since he confessed to her. They struggled afterwards. He struggled not to rush her. He didn’t want to force his feelings, but he didn’t want to be ignored. He wanted her to accept him, so he refrained from pushing too much with the flirting and the teasing. She struggled to accept a relationship with a former student. She struggled with the mere concept of a relationship. She had been pining for Shinohara for so long, but with absolutely no relationship experience, she had no idea what she was doing. Especially, when Shinohara was a man who was fully aware of her world, immersed himself in it. Shin, however, was still young and was just introduced to this devilish realm of society. She also struggled with how she felt towards the young man.

She cared for him. She really did. But, in what way? She cared for all of her students, and in some strange way those boys became almost like a family to her; not quite like the Oedo. However, she would be a liar if she said that Shin hadn’t become a favorite rather fast. Somehow, he slipped under her skin. Maybe it was because he was so much like her? Though, there were many times the young man played a fool, and he didn’t seem to understand just what her world was like and why he should keep his nose out of it. He became one of her greatest allies, and now… Instead of the naïve teen he was, he grew to be a dependable man, honorable in fact. She began to admire him, and before she knew it, he became dear to her. More-so than she would have ever wanted to admit.

Months after Shin’s confession, they fell into their own strange “relationship”. Shin didn’t seem to mind. He kept to himself, never really mingled with the girls at university, but he didn’t avoid them. Kumiko focused on teaching and the Oedo’s affairs. They’d see each other, from time to time, and Kumiko would flush vibrantly at the mention of the word “date”, but it was during those times in which Shin would be relentless. He’d hold her hand, and at the end of it all he’d kiss her on the cheek. Sometimes it was weeks before they saw each other, and whenever they met up after that Kumiko would become all too conscious of her feelings, her heartrate, the heat in her cheeks, the trembling beneath her flesh, all of it. It felt different compared to how she reacted to Shinohara, but it still felt real. It was a relief.

Now, after eleven months, two weeks, and three days since Shin’s confession, their slow progress had gotten them to kissing, and nothing much past first base. It was fine, for the most part. Shin was more than accommodating if she couldn’t handle more, though she could see in his eyes that he wanted to go further. She almost felt guilty for not being able to give him what he clearly wanted, though he never outright said it, despite the few times he visibly withheld his tongue. She wasn’t ready – mentally, emotionally, whatever the case may be – and she wasn’t sure on how to handle it.

“Sumthin’ wrong, Oujo?”

Kumiko glanced up from her cup, sake trembling as she was seated outside and analyzing the night sky. Tomorrow, she was supposed to be going out with Shin, but she felt like she had to do something more; for both him and herself. She didn’t want him to lose his patience with her, despite how he felt. She also didn’t want to let herself chicken out on something that could be the best thing to ever happen to her. Her guest, however, was Kyou. He seemed concerned, as per usual, but she knew better than to tell him of her troubles. If she even uttered a syllable about becoming intimate with Sawada, Kyou would make a declaration of war; not that she’d allow it, but he would definitely feel the urge to. She shook her head, smiling as she stood. She sipped her cup dry, and sighed as she gave a pat to his shoulder, “I’m fine. Thank you, Kyou-san.” He didn’t seem convinced, but he didn’t address it. Kumiko held back a laugh at his stubbornness, and began to head inside, “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” Hopefully, these thoughts of hers won’t keep her up til morning.

**-**


	2. Of the Topic at Hand

“Kumiko.”

Her eyes were wide, staring straight at him, but he refused to react. He cemented his features as he knew to anticipate the outcome of calling out her given name. Flushed cheeks, puzzled brow, she seemed to be struggling with the words, struggling not to shout at him for being an idiot; as she often did when he got too comfortable by her standards.

They had gone out to a film that night. Nothing special for him, but it was a re-release of some vintage yakuza film. Shin knew it would win Yankumi’s heart, it always did. While he found it a little ridiculous, observing her reactions while she was watching the film did more for him than he liked to admit. Afterwards, they grabbed some Thai-food on the way back to his apartment for a quiet in-door meal. She was ranting about her new students and how they were almost as bad as his class; almost, she would emphasize. However, midway, he felt an impulse to call her name, and just as he knew a direct attack was best when dealing with Yankumi, he didn’t hold a single punch as he spoke each syllable clearly.

Several moments passed, as she was staring at her food, her hair – released from any restraints – was creating a wall around her features. Shin could barely see the tinge of red across the bridge of her nose, but he was starting to get nervous. It wasn’t like her to fall silent. Though, he refused to take it back. He’d known her for nearly two years, confessed nearly a year ago, and he wanted to move forward. Being stagnant was killing him slowly. He was fighting urges to do and say unspeakable things even at the risk of losing his life. For Yamaguchi, he remained silent. For Yamaguchi, he refrained from touching her in ways that would make her cry. For Shin, she was a woman he loved, cherished, and respected.

He reached out, hand sliding through the dark mass and palm resting against a heated cheek. Yankumi didn’t move, nor did she say a word. His heart was running rampant within his ears, he could feel the sweat on his brow. He had to take a moment and swallow away his nerves as his mouth felt dry.

“Kumiko,” he said it again, a little louder and clearer than the first time. She kept still, and he leaned forward several inches. “Kumiko.” The space between them kept dissipating, but just as he was a mere inch away from her, there was a sudden sting to his forehead and he groaned in pain, sitting back and rubbing the sore spot.

“Idiot-Sawada!” Yankumi shouted, tears in the corners of her eyes as she scowled at him, forehead as red as her cheeks from the headbutt she gave him. “How many times have I told you not to tease me?!”

Fingers mindlessly caressing the tender flesh, Shin remained stoic as he spoke, “I wasn’t teasing. It’s no big deal, right? We’re dating.”

She flinched, flustered, “But, doing that…saying my…”

Shin crawled over, grabbing hold of one of her fists that laid on the table beside his bed. She looked to him, their eyes meeting and her breath caught in her throat as he spoke, “I want to be closer to you, Kumiko.”

\- 


	3. Understanding Kumiko

All he could do was sit there and think. Music blasting into his eardrums, Shin was staring out the window of his bedroom. The sun was shining brightly, and he had the day off from class. There were plenty of errands and plenty of chores he could have been doing, but he didn’t have the energy. He was exhausted.

Shin wasn’t sure if it was just mentally, or physically, or if he was even emotionally tired. His mind was mostly numb as lyrics ran through it. Occasionally a thought of Kumiko popped in, which made him sigh heavily. A moment or two passed before his headphones were snapped against the side of his head. He released a small yelp before turning a glare at the center of the room and removing the headphones.

“What?!” he snipped, staring at the blank face in front of him.

Kuma blinked. He was kneeling on the edge of the bed, but backing away, “Uh, we’ve been callin’ you, man. Everything okay?”

It was just Minami and Uchi in the room along with them. The three visiting Shin, but Minami and Uchi were lounging on the floor reading manga. They glanced up at the irritated red-head silently as Kuma stepped back to give Shin some room. The young man in question sighed, dropping his headphones on the bed listlessly, “Everything’s cool.”

“It’s Yankumi,” Uchi drawled. “He’s always like this with Yankumi.”

“Did the date go that swimmingly?” Minami chuckled, not fazed from the glare that was directed at him.

“Did you guys come here just to give me shit?” Shin nearly growled, but he kept to his bed. “So, there’s a few bumps, it doesn’t mean anything.”

“You can talk with us, Shin-chan,” Kumai insisted with some seriousness in his tone. A gentle seriousness that he was growing into with his gradual aging since the time he first met Yankumi. “I mean, we came to hang out, but you’ve just been shutting us out. Are things that bad?”

Shin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. His friends had all been very supportive of him since it was first discovered that he had feelings for the woman. They even tried to get them together despite how clueless Kumiko appeared to his feelings. Shin hesitantly left his bed, turning off his media player so as not to kill the battery, and went to his refrigerator to grab some milk. “Things are a bit rocky,” he admitted under his breath. “We’re getting there, though. To an understanding.”

“Have you kissed her yet?” Minami inquired expectantly. When Shin didn’t reply nor look at his friends, there was a collective groan. Minami sat up, legs crossing, “Why don’t you just grab her and kiss her? Like the movies? Don’t chicks like that kinda crap?”

“No way,” Shin shook his head. He took a swig of the milk before rubbing at his mouth. “Not Yamaguchi. She’s not into that stuff. Besides, just saying her first name makes her freak out.” The last part was almost hissed through a frustrated grind of his teeth. The young man rubbed at his temples with a single hand, rubbing his eyes with his palm, “She’s a social misfit. We all know that. I’m not going to push her into anything she’s not ready for.”

“Shin-chan, you’ve never really been with a girl, though,” Kumai noted pointedly. “I mean, out of all of us, you and Uchi are the only ones with girlfriends.”

“And, I’m way ahead in that department than even you,” Uchi snorted in a refrain from further bragging.

Minami still dealt an annoyed blow to his friend’s scalp. “We might not be all that good with the women-folk, but maybe you need a new plan of attack, man,” he suggested as Uchi cradled his cap. “I mean, what happened the other night, anyway?”

With another sigh, Shin walked back to his bed, sitting at the edge. He swirled the milk in his hand, his eyes on the floor. “She came over for dinner,” he explained simply with all eyes on him.

“And…?”

“And,” Shin shrugged, “nothing. It was fine. That’s it. I said her name, which I’ve done before, but she always thinks I’m teasing her or something. Nothing after that.”

Uchiyama sat up to join the rest, “So, what are you doing, Shin? What do you want from Yankumi?”

The young man glanced at his friend. He was getting used to the fact that while he had always been more mature than his friends, they were catching up with him since they became adults. “Look, what I want doesn’t really matter. In the end, I just want Yamaguchi to respect me. Respect our relationship and see me as an equal.”

“So, you don’t want anything physical?” Minami rose a skeptical brow. “Do you guys even hold hands?”

That was a sad question. There were a few times that Shin was able to get away with it. Sometimes Kumiko didn’t even notice, and even after noticing she wouldn’t pull away. Most of the time, however, she would pull away from his touch, especially if they were out in public. It irked Shin.

He couldn’t lie about that, but he didn’t want to say that out loud.

“Look, dude,” Uchiyama voiced, “it’s cool of you that you want to be respectful of Yankumi, but if you don’t voice your wants and needs ever, then you’re never going to move forward. You don’t have to take my word for it, though. There’s a difference between talking with your partner and demanding things from them. Sit her down, talk to her about this, and then work it out with her. Doesn’t that make sense? Even a little?”

The red-haired young man almost seemed stunned by Uchi’s words. It wasn’t that it was anything profound, necessarily, it was more of the fact that it came from Uchi’s mouth at all. Though, maybe he had a point. Shin was so terrified of stepping on Kumiko’s toes…even just the other night, all he said was that he wanted to be closer with her and she left almost immediately after. He scared her off.

Though, looking back, it might have been because he startled her with trying to be physical. He was trying to work with that. It was difficult for him, increasingly so. All he wanted was to hold her in his arms. Kiss her lips, her cheek, her neck.

Shin wanted to watch her blush while smiling at him. He almost hated the way she tried to hide from him whenever she got nervous or shy. There were some cute, attractive aspects about that behavior, but for the most part it just made Shin feel like a bully or an attacker even. Though, there were a few times he’d mention anything about them even dating and she’d flare up…it was near impossible to talk with her.

“Think about it, man,” Kumai sighed as he sat next to his best friend. “We’re not saying jump her bones. We know you never could do that, and you wouldn’t even think it. We’re not that stupid. Just...sit her down and tell her this is important. If she doesn’t want to work with you…then…”

That caught Shin’s attention, “Then…what? What are you saying, Kuma?”

The other sighed, face falling, “Well…we’re worried she just doesn’t feel the same way…”

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
